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Personal Statement范文模板分析

發布時間:2022-09-29 11:41:17 閱讀:194 作者:博遠教育 字數:2790 字 預計閱讀時間:9分鐘
導讀:一個PersonalStatement最重要也是最有用的關鍵詞是Personal。一篇好的PS一定是“tellYOURstory”的。今天,博遠教育來點實實在在的PersonalStatement范文模板分析,告訴你什么樣的PS一點都不Personal,而怎樣才能寫出屬于自...

一個Personal Statement最重要也是最有用的關鍵詞是Personal。一篇好的PS一定是“tell YOUR story”的。為什么?因為如果你沒有把你Personal的一面告訴你要申請的學校,學校為什么會錄取你而不是跟你差不多的千千萬萬人呢?

personal statement

不過即使把這個原則講得口沫橫飛,我們很多同學依然會“丈二和尚摸不著頭腦”。所以今天,博遠教育來點實實在在的Personal Statement范文模板分析,告訴你什么樣的PS一點都不Personal,而怎樣才能寫出屬于自己的Personal的PS。

先上干貨,這是一篇非常具有代表性的、非常不Personal的、不好的PS范文。

I have always known I wanted to go to law school. Ever since I was little, I would picture myself sitting in a courtroom and fighting for justice. This is a dream that I continue to pursue and that I hope to make become a reality at your law school. I have worked hard to get where I am and have several qualities that I think will make me an excellent candidate for your law school.

First, I am a very hard worker. When I came to college, I found that the classes were much more difficult then the classes I took in high school, even though I took a lot of AP classes in high school. However, I rose to the challenge early on and have been able to get great grades ever since. This meant that sometimes I had to sacrifice weekend nights or stay up late, but I have always done whatever it takes to get grades that I can be proud of.

Second, I am able to balance my time and still excel in my life. Throughout undergraduate school I have worked part-time, which has made it difficult to make my classes a priority. However, I have always been able to balance classes and work and do well in both.

Third, I believe in justice and I believe that law is the channel through which people can obtain justice. Everyday there are people who are wronged by others, by the system, even by government and their wrongs must be addressed. In America, we have decided that courts of law are the places where people will be heard, where their rights will be decided. I want to be one of those people who helps those who are not able to have their rights heard.

Fourth, I feel strongly about service. Though I have worked and gone to school since graduating from high school, I have made time to be a part of many different school clubs that have provided service to such places as the Women in Crisis Center, the Food and Care Coalition, and the Child's Hope Foundation. Whether serving hot meals to the homeless or tying quilts for children in foreign countries, I have enjoyed the service I have engaged in, and know that it is something I want to make a part of my life. Law is a way to serve those around us. Indeed, law allows one to make one's career not just a career, but a career of service.

Lastly, I know that I am qualified and ready to succeed at your law school. However, I don't plan stopping there. Someday I hope to serve in elected office whether as a state officer or a state judge so that I can continue to make a difference in my community. If you admit me, I will make the law school proud of my accomplishments and work as hard as it takes to become the best attorney I can be. Thank you for your time. I hope you will seriously consider my application.

有多少人看完了這篇PS后覺得自己跟這個寫得差不多的?舉個手如何。還有多少人PS是中介寫的,也差不多是這個樣子的?我自己幫別人看過中介寫給他的PS,說句實話,還不如上面這篇。但這也就說明,我們確實都在實實在在地犯這樣的錯誤。但我們博遠教育不同于留學中介,我們是學術機構,有著足夠雄厚的學術實力為每一位申請者原創量身定制PS文書,確保了每一份PS文書的質量。下面來看這篇文章毛病有哪些?

1. 總體而言,正如我開篇所說,這是一篇毫無個性的文章。這個人可以是生活在中國的你,也可以是學習在美國的他;可以是內向愛讀書的你,也可以是外向愛運動的他;可以是來自城市玩著游戲長大的你,也可以是生于農村勤奮學習的他??偠灾?,從這篇文章中唯一能看到的,就是一個照本宣科按著模版寫PS的申請者,除此之外招生官一無所知。你想要通過這樣的PS脫穎而出嗎?

2. 很多招生官看到第一段,甚至是第一句話就要吐了,他會繼續本著負責任的態度“讀完”這篇PS,但僅僅因為那是他的工作。你知道大概會花多少時間嗎?不超過30秒。為什么?不要告訴招生官“我從小就立志要當某某某”,“從小就對某某某感興趣”。這種話已經聽到耳根發麻了。每個申請護理的當然都立志當護士,當然對護理感興趣,不然他申請干嘛?他們想聽的不是你從小怎么怎么地,他們要聽的是“為什么”!

3. 再說正文,從First讀到Lastly,你覺得哪個“好”學生不是這樣的?hard-working誰不是?做part-time的就你一個?讀法的哪個不相信justice?誰不想服務社會?最后,你夢想可以很大,當美國總統都行,可你要讓我看得出來??!所以看似這篇文章“結構清楚”(從一到五)、“邏輯清晰”(我喜歡法律相信正義),實際上“照本宣科”(一到五都是模版)、“空話連篇”(沒一句是發自內心的)。既然是這樣,我為什么要錄取你?

Personal Statement范文模板分析

現在,你明白為什么這是一篇典型的差PS了吧。那么怎么才能寫出一篇好的具有你鮮明個性的PS呢?還是先看例子:

Unlike many mathematicians, I live in an irrational world; I feel that my life is defined by a certain amount of irrationalities that bloom too frequently, such as my brief foray in front of 400 people without my pants.

Sitting cross-legged on the floor of a Bhilainagar slum dwelling in Bangalore, I ran my fingers across a fresh cut on my forehead.

When I was 8 years old, I shocked my family and a local archaeologist by discovering artifacts dating back almost 3,500 years.

Flying over enemy territory, I took in Beirut's beautiful skyline and wondered if under different circumstances I would have hopped on a bus and come here for my vacation. Instead, I saw the city from the window of a helicopter, in military uniform, my face camouflaged, on my way to a special operation deep behind enemy lines.

My younger sister, Jessica, arrived home one day reeling about the shirt that her friend had worn to school. It had simply read, “Genocide, Homicide, Suicide, Riverside.”

I'll never forget the day when my childhood nightmares about fighting gigantic trolls in the Lord of the Rings series became a reality. Sword in hand and clad in medieval samurai armor, I dragged myself into the battleground as I faced my opponent, a warmongering giant.

以上這樣的PS開頭還可以舉出很多,但舉出再多這也是別人的Personal story,其實與你關系不大的。我列出來更希望你學習的,是其中的原則和方法。千萬不要抄襲!我們來看看它們都有哪些共同點吧:

1.     非常個人化。不是每個人都會在400人面前光屁股的,更不是每個人有機會作為一名軍人去巴格達打仗。而正是這樣個人化的故事才能真正告訴招生官你是一個什么樣的人,而這個人才是區別于所有蕓蕓眾生的你。

2.     非常故事化。做科學研究要的是冷冰冰的數據,而要打動人一定是要溫暖的故事的。在我的第一篇文章里我就說過,PS不是說明文,不是議論文,不要用上文那篇PS的方式希望列出一二三四五點道理讓招生官信服。對不起,這里不是辯論場。只有通過溫暖得帶著你的溫度的你真實的故事,才會讓招生官產生共鳴,才會讓一個人對另一個人產生好感。所以我在評論一個微博上的朋友時曾經說過,要把PS當小說來寫,當詩歌來寫,當文學創作而不是刻板地填表。

3.     非常吸引人。對比上面那篇“我從小就立志做某某某”,以上的例子是不是顯得吸引人得多?但實際上,你仔細想想,他們又何嘗不是在用另一個方法告訴招生官“我從小就喜歡或立志做某某某”呢?而這樣吸引人的文章,可能會讓招生官花十分鐘甚至更長的時間“欣賞”。這種情況下,你覺得誰錄取的可能更大呢?

Personal Statement

好了,分析了這么多,你可能已經迫不及待地要問了,道理我都懂了,那我到底應該如何寫好PS呢?因為篇幅所限,我在這里給你們幾個大的原則,后面我會找機會詳細說。另外正如我們一直強調的原則Personal,有很多方法也會是很個人化的,所以往往需要根據每個人的不同特點來制定不同的訓練計劃,這樣才會有更大的提高。

1. 做你自己。有很多人會有這樣的誤區,那就是哈佛大學要的學生是這樣那樣的,比如個性張揚、聰明伶俐、具有領導力、能說會道(舉例而已),于是乎就希望把自己也“包裝”成那個樣子。但事實完全不是這樣。哈佛里有內向的有外向的,有能說會道的也有喜歡沉默的,有領導者也有書呆子(褒義)。你會進入哈佛是因為你就是你自己,不是任何一個其他人。不要在自己的PS里為了顯得外向而外向,或強調一個自己并不擅長的事情。你會樂器就告訴他們你會,你不會樂器就告訴他們其他的。更不要欺騙!Never!你自己都不相信你愛“護理”或者“會計”,你希望別人相信你真的愛?

2. 好好回顧自己的生涯。我說“好好”回顧,我是認真的。不論你現在是18還是22,或者30+,不論你的生涯是何種樣子的,用你最大的力氣去回顧它,去審視它,去挖掘它,去珍視它。舉個例子,我會用好幾天的時間去用跟學生聊天、讓他們自己寫回憶錄以及翻看以前所有的資料的方式去了解一個學生。你想一想,在寫一篇PS之前,你花了多少時間去回顧你的人生?

3. 找到那些真正有趣的,真正難忘的瞬間,不論是感動、是悲傷、是醒悟、是沉迷。記住一點,只有你自己覺得有趣的東西才會讓別人覺得有趣,只有你自己難忘的瞬間才能吸引別人的注意,只有那些瞬間中留存著你最真實的感動、悲傷、醒悟、沉迷才能讓別人也從中感受到你的感情。 只有別人動了感情,別人才會“喜歡”你,因為“喜歡”是最真實的感情,最純粹的感情。

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